GabrielMathews.com | Biological Log

I’ve noticed something interesting. Something my counselor might call selective compartmentalization through internal auto-didactic function.

Mouth-full yeah. Regardless.

I picked up my guitar again. I picked up my paint brush again. I picked up my cutting board again.

I’ve been doing a ton of quick photoshop illustrations to ‘check my buff’ and see how my understanding of form is holding up. I don’t normally draw in the computer environment as there is something to be said about old school media. Not that PS doesn’t have its place. I just enjoy the tangible sensation of creating with wet/dry media.

I am trying to improve and true-out my interests through practicing the things I enjoy.  It felt like a bizarre feat to successfully strum out some Segovia-esque rhythms and have it sound half decent. I listened to him a lot today while walking.

Today our landlady was showing the condo to perspective tenants so I had to be scarce. I got up this morning and walked to get some coffee. After that, I walked all the way over to the foot of OHSU and looked at the homes that were for sale. I don’t really have 1.2 million dollars, but I can enjoy the thought of that view. Holy crap.

Eventually my legs took me to the office and I did a little work before retreating to Backspace for some lunch (Intermittently perusing the awesome art that is up over at Compound). I recommend the “My Sweetheart Salad”; I’ve never had heart of palm before. Tasty! Then I walked through the Lloyd Center Mall before taking refuge in the park where I sat for the better part of 2 hours just enjoying the sun and the music that filled my head. This was concluded with a viewing of Shutter Island. I must say, this was a better flick than I anticipated.

Now I am home, typing, digesting AWESOME leftover mushroom soup from yesterday. I must say, this is a great recipe!

Tomorrow I have to get up early for my dentist appointment (10 years since last check up) eek!

Have a splendid evening kiddos.

~G

This is such a bizarre and interesting time.

I’m not one to let the readers of this blog, or the readers that are ported over from facebook, into my deeper personal affairs…because frankly, it is silly and unnecessary. However, I suppose it is appropriate for certain things…?…non?

For a little over the last 5 years I was dating a wonderful girl named Lesa. Her links are on the side bar…and you should click on them rapidly to see awesome pictures, stories, and be inspired. We’ve since evolved away from each other. Living together in that circumstance, among many other mental and physical issues that I deal with on a day to day basis have made life a little tricky lately. Lesa told me tonight that she is going to move out in a bit as it will make our friendship easier and her head hurt a little less. I totally understood…so we are trying to figure out where we are both going to live. She wants to stick around “here”…and I think I might either move a little closer in to downtown, or I might take up temporary shelter in a shared home situation or something to save a little green. Either way.

With that said, things just got a little more real. I am entrenching myself in work and creating a social wall. I was thinking about peoples walls on the way home. Some of my friends have walls made of cider block and steel while others have walls that are kind of like Tribbles. The tribble type wash you over with adorable character traits. They distract you with that so you’ll never be able to touch their reality; because…well…that is what those walls are built for. After analyzing this further. I realized that my wall consists mostly of a steep muddy grass hill that is so slippery it is almost not worth the effort so you’ll just walk around the side and avoid me altogether. I like the people that walk on my grassy hill; the people that have good boots, aren’t afraid to get muddy and can appreciate the view from the top once they’ve gotten there. That sounds a little contrived, but again, this is my blog…and I’ll say what I want.

“And all the effort that it took to get here in the first place, and all the effort not to let the effort show”…EBTG/Downhill Racer/Temperamental…great track. Look it up.

Part of me wants to disappear. I don’t know where I could go that my internal predator couldn’t find me. I need to unplug…to much screen glare, polygons, code, and pixels. I want to go camp. Get eaten by a bear…that’d be nuts. Poorly play my crappy guitar on a beach out the back of my van in the spring…too cliche. I could just shut up and get off my ass…but that wouldn’t be as self gratifying as complaining.

My thumb is no longer mutilated. This is a very significant thing. I remember exactly where I was and how old I was when I started doing this habit. I was 4 years old in the front seat of my mom’s car in Dearborn, Michigan driving to a fast food joint. I saw a little dry skin on my thumb and ripped it clean off. Ever since, that emotional connection to such a seemingly insignificant moment was one of few positive moments I’ve had with that lady. Comfort comes from the weirdest places. I think past that, this is the first time in my life that I concurrently have been single, out of school, with a job, and not much connection with anybody in a long long time. Perhaps since I was 4.

Life is silly.

This past weekend, I went up to Seattle to play with my good friend iLan and his amazing fiance Vanessa. I love them both and would murder you if you ever wronged them.

I came in at about 915ish in the evening. Sheila, iLan’s space heater, greeted me with a hot blow. I was instantly relaxed. After V went to bed iLan and I went to Safeway for energy drinks, a habanero pepper,  random sale items, and Yoohoo. He informed me that he is the proud owner of a carbonizer. Needless to say, we immediately carbonated the Yoohoo. Not exactly the best, but still a little bit of tingles. We sat and talked on his couch till four in the morning about life, love, and all things in between. It was wonderful.

In the morning, after the best sleep I’ve had in a couple months, we went to Costco to visit V at work, drop some stuff off, and then roam the food aisles for samples and price ogling. After a bit we came back to the house and chilled out. Soon enough, V was off work, and we went to 5 Spot for brunch. I had a great forest scramble and some coffee. I really recommend that place to anyone visiting to the Pacific north-west. During brunch, iLan asked me if I would officiate the wedding. I was really flattered and accepted the duties immediately. I’m going to have to spit-polish the little Hebrew I know as iLan requested I sing some traditional Jewish songs. Oy vey.

In the evening, we wound up meeting up with my good friend Joerael Elliot and surprising him with me. He didn’t know I was in town and we haven’t talked/seen each other in about 3 years. Crazy. I love that guy. So we caught up, at Shorty’s bar…another awesome spot. I met his wonderful girlfriend and spent a large chunk of time talking to this cellist Nancy. (EEK…I hope I got that right! Memory is a little fuzzy)…anywho very cool peep. I tried talking her into moving to Portland and being my friend. She lives in Jerome, AZ…my condolences.

After a great night of chatting, we came home, I passed out, and the day was over. Sunday, iLan made breakfast bagels, we ate at Red Mill Burgers. Holy shit you have to try the onion rings. I got a sandwich for my trek home too. At a certain point, as the day’s timeline was a little convoluted, iLan and I ate the habanero…who need drugs? That thing was crazy hot…I felt it move through my digestive system, only to wind up making porcelain violence later in the day…whew. I drove home after a quick couple stops downtown. I got home around 6, did some laundry and enjoyed the rest of my evening before the week started again.

Tomorrow I am going to see Roger Martin at Ziba talk about his book The Design of Business. That should make for some great brain candy.

Nighty taters.

~G